Birth Of My Poem

Birth Of A Poem
================

when words gather
like heavy rain clouds
and in the regions of my heart
I feel
fluttering wings of a restless flock
caught in the hunter's net
I know it is time
for my poem to be born

***
when clouds let go
and falling waters
meet the waiting patch of thirst,
ever so gently, the soil frees
fragrance of her satiation,
when in flurry of flight
a flock of pigeons
leaves the silence quivering
birthing of my poem
feels somewhat like this

184

Rivers And Us

On the path to selfhood, I find

I flow as a river flows
from a nameless source,

carrying within me fragments, 

residues of countless lifetimes.

That though I hold a form

and a name for it

I cannot ever be known.

So it is for you.

And when you and I,
two mysteries

come together and form this bond

and try to box it in words

it suffocates and dies.

Stinking water in a stagnant pool.

What is between you and me

is as changing, flowing and

indefinable as a river is.

And if only we could see it that way

how ever new and joyous it would be !

light and shadows

bright lights of my city stand gaurd
never really permitting
day's end to settle in its quietitude
yet, I stand,
in a secluded corner of my terrace
watching rain clouds
greyish white and salmon pink
race across the deep indigo sky
the  moon hides for a moment
there it is back again
something within me rises
and snatches my breath away
I raise my face and  all my being
strives to grasp and hold
the play of light and shadows
the majestic spectacle of constant change
against the still vastness of sky

Thoughts In A Graveyard

this evening
as I walk past the graveyard
the thought comes to me
that it is not entirely impossible
one of those crumbling graves
was mine
that name carved there
almost obliterated
was as much mine
as the name I go by today
under that grey slab of stone
time's hands have worked
inexorably on my flesh and bone
grinding them into the earth
that I am alive
in the grass growing wild there
and I move
with the leaves on those trees

~ Rwits

Queen

Its not about him, girl.
It's about you.
Beggar you have become,
scrounging for scraps,
grateful for small mercies.
Craving to fill emptiness
you let him occupy 
your being.
You lost yourself
and listen, girl, 
no one, just no one
is worth that price.
Queen, that you are
seek your kingdom within.
And though the path
may be hard and long,
find it.
And rule.

6-4-2013

Pain

Finally, one day

I stopped running

turned back
looked into her eyes

said, here, take me

I am  yours.

Pain smiled and

embraced me into

her fiery garment.
burning in agony

each pore glowed

incandescent.

Pain's midwifery

rebirthed me

clean, shining, forever

exorcised of shadows.
I knew then why 

women touch death

to become mothers.

The well kept secret 

of pain's sisterhood

with joy.

girl

 I talk sometimes

to a girl

whose heart is on fire

her fragility terrifies me

that the raging fire

might gobble up her bones

like thin tindersticks

I watch her tears flow

stop, flow again

I marvel how fire and water

live in the same house
together

I wonder for whom she cries

for love

slipping through her fingers

clever trickster that it is

or  her own lost self

a songbird

of parched throat

mourning her lost song

I want so much

to fold her in my arms

kiss her weeping head 

and say

girl, don't chase phantoms

all you seek
hides in you

until you know that

everything is a lie

I know

lost in her burning

she cannot hear me

so I hope and wait

for the fire to die

sweet waters to rain

on hard burnt soil

deep cracks birthing

tender green shoots

light

my fire unlit

I went door to door

begging for warmth

begging for light

when doors slammed shut

to  darkness I turned

I kindled a spark

with my aching bones

I sit in my blaze

I am molten gold

all dross burnt to ashes

all shadows dispelled

Promise

clever that you are
you came in stealth
and stole my playthings
one by one
your hands
deft and sure
you took them all
away

I wept till I remembered
emptiness is a promise

and now
my emptiness
washed clean by pain
made fragrant by
strange yearnings
for treasures unknown
awaits your knock
at my door

Who Am I

you ask my name
you ask who I am .
I look for an answer
an answer of truth.

I am one
who has no name
all the names
that ever existed
are mine.

I am one
who hides
in a cage of bone
uncontainable
unbounded vastness
is mine.

when you ask me
I stop
and think.

Some Days

some days the sun shines brighter
some days the sky's more blue
some days prayers get answered
some days hope comes true !

some days my feet don't touch ground
some days I'm a bird in the sky
some days flowers bloom in my breath
some days we meet, you and I !

some days love walks in my wilderness
some days love weeps in my pain
some days love burns in my longing
some days love whispers my name

Loss

Today

I feel

the pain 

of losing

my own flesh 

of what happens

when a surgeon 

with a sharp knife

and clean precision

slices a peice 

of my body

I watch it go

my flesh

cut asunder 

the pain burns 

a cold fire

the lost part aches

as though it

has not gone

will never go

I close my eyes
and feel the 

phantom pain of

that sick, aching 

gangrenous flesh
of mine

this skillful surgeon

will save my life
 no doubt

but I wonder

if this living body

will ever forget

its lost part?

will it ever feel 

whole again?

Letting Go

I will let you go

yes I must

that is what I hear
that one must do
one must not cling
and hold on to love
for then it rots and stinks
and gives more pain
than pleasure
and so

I will let you go
I will get
the sharpest blade
a swift, sharp cut
is all it will take
to cut the cord
which ties me to you
I will do it
yes, I will
it will hurt
of course, it will
but that would be
a small price to pay
for freedom
yours and mine
freedom from
the waiting
the longing
the doubts
the agonies
the messiness
of love
you are the hole
in my heart
my life flows through
I will plug the hole
I will let you go
And yet
when I look
for you
to set you free
I find you
in every moment
of my wakefulness
in every single thought
that I conceive
I feel you run
with the blood
in my veins
I never knew when
I became you
and I wonder how
I can ever free
myself from
my own self ?

Like · 

• Anand R

Kali Pooja

The inky black
of the midnight sky
dissolves in
the blue of dawn
to the one
who braves 
the shadows within
the Mother's lap
beckons..

~Rwits
Kali in her black form signifies the inscrutability of Maya. In Her blue form, She is Tara, the one who saves or rescues.

Back !

So here I am! Reclaiming my old dead blog! Its been a long break, More than 3 years I guess. And a lot has happened in these three years. The most recent development has been that I have begun writing poetry at the prodding of a friend. My friends seem to like it though I squirm when they call me a poet. For me poetry is a something written by hugely gifted people, like Tagore, Wordsworth, Keats and so on.Today, with this free verse and all, I feel anyone can call himself/herself a poet. But I find it allows me to give form to my amorphous feelings. It provides me with a sense of release.Here are some of them.

I am 
awestruck
by the miraculous
alchemy of love
that every word 
I write for you
becomes a Sufi poem

.
10th Nov. 2012

I wait 
for your footsteps
I leave doors
wide open
for you, the stranger
I have known for ever
I'll wrap you around me
till I am no more
you, the pain
of my choosing

and my joy unbounded..

9th Nov 2012

i watch them
as they come 
spilling out 
hot, slashing words
I watch them 
as they cut, 
pierce and burn
I wonder where 
they have lain hidden 
in which rotting 

wound within me
were they born
I watch them go
my lips taste of
cold ash
Tuesday- 6th Nov 2012

We

rise together

heavenwards

in a single flame

there was no beginning

there is no end

a love that lives forever

Oct 30, 2012-13

this can be

that cannot be

this is the truth

and that is not

I build my prison

bar by bar

locked up 

in my certainties

Oct 24^th 2012-12

I see her sulk and
I see her smile
I see her dance and
I hear her sing
I see her turned out
in her fine clothes
I see her eat with 
a thousand mouths
I see her
the goddess

as she walks the earth

Oct 21, 2012-11

The beat of the dhaak
dances in my blood
the Goddess sits within
and without
Oct21, 2012-10

I crave to know you
and be known
and yet I am
this flow eternal
ever new and
ever changing
unfathomable 
in my depths
all our knowing 
of each other

puddles drying 
in the sun

Oct17, 2012-9

who am I
and 
who are you
oppressive imprisonment 
of words
in the pure space
of our meeting
all descriptions
fall away
oct14, 2012-8