Sweating profusely, mouth parched, the mighty Arjuna stands in the battlefield. The Gandiv has fallen from his trembling hands. Arrayed on both sides of the battlefield, are those, he holds closest to his heart. Grandfather, gurus, uncles , cousins , friends of his youth and childhood. Now, he would have to unleash his fearsome weaponry against them. Kill them and watch them die painful deaths.
My predicament is not as terrible as that of Arjuna, yet I suffer too. I am a prisoner of my mind, locked in by illusion. I run after a thousand desires but my thirst never quenches. I toss helplessly on the waves that rise in my mind. Waves of joy, sorrow, love, hatred, anger, jealousy,greed, repentance. I am tormented by fears and wracked by worries. I dance like a puppet to the play of emotions.. How long will you watch me make a complete fool of myself, Dark Lord of Vrindavan? Will Your play never end?
With the effulgence of a thousand suns , the splendorous form towers into the sky. Adorned with garlands , anointed with heavenly perfumes , armed with divine weapons, He appears before the awestruck Pandava prince. Countless worlds, suns, moons and stars swirl within the immeasurable vastness of the God of Gods. Millions of faces, hands and bodies stretch into the distance. There is no beginning, middle or end. Gods and sages are entering Him with folded hands, singing hymns of peace and praise. All the sons of Dhritarashtra, all the kings and warriors are hurtling into the terrible jaws. Some are stuck between the teeth with their heads smashed. As rivers enter the sea, as moths enter the flame. so are these men entering the blazing mouths, only to be destroyed. Krishna, the Primeval Lord, straddles the space between heaven and earth.
Arjuna holds his bow with a steady hand. His doubts dispelled, he knows now, what he has to do. He knows that he can neither kill nor be killed. He just has to do what his Kshatriya dharma tells him to do. He has to kill those who have already been killed by the Lord , as all powerful Time. He is an instrument, one of the innumerable beings who are constantly arising from and merging into the Absolute Bliss.
Grant me the Celestial Eye, O Lord! Reveal Your Truth to me. So that, like Your beloved friend Arjuna, I too, can break free from my self inflicted misery.
